


The Gravity of Love

by amethyst-noir (Arbonne)



Series: Prompt Collection [8]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mutual Pining, also in the past, both are mentioned briefly, mentions of past non-con, to Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 22:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16104992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbonne/pseuds/amethyst-noir
Summary: Tony loves Stephen and vice versa. But Stephen knows that they're not in one of the timelines where they end up together. Too bad that he never told Tony that.





	The Gravity of Love

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授翻】The Gravity of Love/爱之重力](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17298926) by [Clover_cherik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clover_cherik/pseuds/Clover_cherik)



> Anon dropped this prompt in my inbox:  
>  _Not "your" anon here but. What about something with us seeing Tony fall in love with Stephen first (so many fics make it the other way around with all the futures Stephen saw), being the one looking out for him and caring for him and respecting him and Stephen being clueless about it bc Tony flirts with everyone, bc Stephens not his usual type, bc he didn't think this timeline would have the chance to end up like some of the rare ones where they're together so he never even entertained the idea_
> 
> This one gets pretty angsty but it has a happy end! Mind the tags up there. The title is, once again, sponsored by Enigma. (It may be cliché but I love it and it just fits the story perfectly.)

"Bye, Pep!" Tony smiled at Pepper and waved at her until the doors of the elevator had closed behind her. He turned around to his last remaining guest. "That went well, don't you think so?" The smile vanished and left behind a tired and exhausted man who just wanted to fall into bed and forget everything for a few short hours. He hated parties, even when they were his own and all the guests were friends. "Stephen?" he asked when he didn't get an answer. "You're okay?"

"What? Sorry, I was elsewhere." Stephen shook his head as if to clear it from unwanted thoughts and looked around. "Am I the last one? I should go, too."

 _No, you shouldn't. Stay here. I don't want to be alone tonight._ The words were there, had been revised for about a hundred times, and he'd just have to say them. He wanted to reach out and touch Stephen, beg him to stay. He could stay up for a little while longer just for the pleasure of his company. "Okay," he said instead, resigned. "Do you want FRIDAY to let you out or will Sir travel via portal?" He knew the answer but he got a smile which was all he'd wanted in the first place.

"Portal," was the short answer. Stephen seemed tired, too, and instant transport was heaven-sent. No that he'd ever come or gone any other way. A short good-bye, followed by the orange glow of magic, and Tony was left alone in an apartment that was far too big for one person alone.

"Well, let's do this," he whispered to himself. "FRIDAY? Please turn everything down. Wake me up at the usual time."

"Yes, boss. Goodnight."

"Night."

He didn't have a drop of alcohol so it was pure exhaustion that made him stumble and crash into the doorframe on his way to the bedroom.

*

"Yes, that would be lovely. Call my assistant to make an appointment." Tony's skin crawled but he was used to being nice and charming to people he just wanted to throw out the nearest window. He gave the senator the sincerest fake-smile in his repertoire and fought to keep it on his face as the guy took his offered hand. If they weren't in a public setting the man's hands would be all over Tony and he really didn't know how he'd react to _that_. Not as well as in the past, he feared. His tolerance for buying his favors this way had dropped significantly over the years and by now he preferred to make his deals because they were _right_ , not because he threw a lot of money on someone or had dropped down to his knees for another kind of payment.

He was still busy trying to discreetly wipe his hand on his trousers when Stephen came up to him. "Had a nice chat?" Stephen asked and looked at the departing senator who was still radiating an air of satisfaction. "He seems to be happy."

If there had been even a trace of jealousy in the words the ordeal he'd just went through would have been worth it. But so? "Yes, the best. We all got what we wanted. More or less." The tired resignation was creeping in again and Tony fought against it. The award ceremony had only just begun and he had a speech to make in about ten minutes. He forced himself into an even straighter posture, hid his hands behind his back and tried to project an air of confidence.

Stephen didn't look a Tony, so he'd missed the moment of weakness. He'd only seen the way Tony had moved into the other man's space, how he'd smiled and how he'd initiated the hand contact. Tony was friendly with almost _everybody_ and it was hard to watch. One of the reasons why he'd chosen to stay on the sidelines. He didn't want to be dragged further into Tony's life and have to watch from even closer distance how the man flirted with everybody who crossed his path, male or female alike. It would have been too easy to get jealous otherwise.

Tony went away to his speech and Stephen closed his eyes, desperately trying to push aside the memories of a timeline where he'd stood proudly besides him as the accepted his award.

*

"You okay, Stephen?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." Stephen ignored the helping hand being offered to him and forced himself to stand up unaided. All the while he looked over the battlefield to see where he could be of use. Over there! He'd portaled away to put the last of the blue-green monsters out of its misery.

Tony was only glad that the Iron Man mask hid the flash of disappointment on his face. "Good luck," he whispered before he threw himself back into the fight.

*

Tony had known pretty much from the start that it was futile. Stephen never acknowledged his overtures in any way but he still couldn't stop. The fragile friendship that had started in the ruins of Titan had not only survived the temporary death of one of the two parties, no, it had risen from the ashes and over time had become the real, solid thing.

Of course, Tony had to sabotage one of the few good and uncomplicated things in his life by falling in love with his new friend but that was only to be expected. He tended to form attachments quickly and then, after a while, something happened and it all ended in flames. Or a bunker in Siberia. One couldn't be too picky. Only two of his friendships had really stood the test of time, the third one had fluctuated between friendship and romance for years before Pepper and he finally realized that they worked better as friends than lovers. She was and would always be the only woman he'd ever truly loved, but she was not the one.

But Doctor Stephen Strange? Became a friend, yes. Tony, predictably, fell in love with him, yes. But nothing else happened. No big drama that broke them apart, no big revelation that forced one or the other to confess their feelings. They just stayed friends. Very good friends but nothing more.

It was what Stephen wanted, Tony told himself and tried to keep his hands to himself whenever he wanted to reach out and touch the other man. Besides, he didn't even know if Stephen liked men that way. In that regard he was still as much of a mystery as on the first day. Maybe even more, because Tony swore that there'd been flirting when they first met.

Stephen had known form the moment he came back from the dead. He'd opened his eyes and looked into the exhausted but happy face of one Tony Stark. "You did it," he'd whispered in awe. Tony had just looked at him and helped him up. Further words weren't necessary. Then, Tony had gone away to go back to Peter and Stephen had shivered, suddenly cold.

But only for a moment because Tony was back a moment later and dragged him out of the shadows and into the light to meet the rest of the Avengers. 

Stephen had fallen in love in that moment but Tony was engaged and while Stephen Strange was many things he wasn't a homewrecker. He didn't have time for a relationship anyway. He told himself the same story again and again when the engagement broke apart and he spent a few nights consoling a grieving Tony. Tony would find somebody else, he was sure of that.

After a while he managed to banish his longing into his subconscious and to mostly forget about it.

*

"I used to let guys fuck me just to get what I wanted." The words dropped into the silence like a bomb. "It was always for something. A business-deal, some patent I really wanted to have, you name it, I've let them do me for it. That's why I always went after women when I had the choice." The bomb left an even louder silence behind.

"Tony," Stephen said, helplessly, after an age had passed. After a moment of hesitation he reached out and put his hand on Tony's arm. His hand shook even more than usual. Tony didn't flinch, too high on painkillers after his shoulder surgery to care. It was Stephen who suddenly needed the contact. He didn't know how to react, what to do. Everything he could think of was just too trite and too much of a cliché to be of help. Nightmarish images danced through his imagination and so many things suddenly clicked into place. He felt sick. He wanted to gather Tony in his arms to protect him from the undeserving world he had so often protected at such a great cost. He wanted to whisper reassuring nothings into his ear, he wanted to be the exception. He wanted to run away and never come back. Was it too late to go back and choose another timeline?

Tony didn’t look at him but his voice was strong and sure. "I don't tell you that because I want your pity. I just though you have a right to know. You know, considering the stuff that was going around… I always knew what I was doing and I was never forced." He grimaced. "Or at least I still won in the end, no matter what they did to me."

The pictures, Stephen realized. The goddamn pictures of a very young and very drunk Tony Stark, on his knees, while the campaign manager of some long-gone politician held his head in place, that had surfaced a couple of months ago and almost caused Twitter to crash. Tony had gone on record, gave a very convincing show of it being a harmless one-night stand, and the topic had vanished relatively quickly from the media. The other guy had long since died, the photographer too, and Tony hadn't tried to hide. It had been old news in record time. Thanks to FRIDAY the evidence had pretty much completely vanished from the web and a man who refused to be ashamed wasn't that interesting.

Stephen hadn't forgotten but wondered. "You don’t have to tell my anything," he finally said.

"I know. I just wanted you to know. Pepper, Rhodey and Happy know, too. It's only fair."

"So now I'm officially part of the family?" Despite everything Stephen had to smile. He appreciated the immense trust placed into him and vowed to be worthy of it.

"Stephen, you've been part of my family for a long time now. It's only right that you know about the corpses in the bedroom, too." Tony fell asleep before Stephen could react to _that_ bombshell.

* 

It went on like this. Years passed, their friendship was cemented in blood, magic and iron, battles were fought and lost, triumphs were shared.

Tony wanted and stayed silent while Stephen managed to suppress every bit of carnal desire he may have felt and channeled everything into his magic.

They weren't in that kind of timeline he'd concluded at long time ago.

Too bad that he'd never told Tony that. 

* 

The next time it was Stephen who was high on painkillers and couldn't control what came out of his mouth.

"I gave myself three years," he said. His voice was deep, raspy and barley there. No wonder, some extradimensional thing with too many tentacles had tried to choke him before slamming him into the nearest building. The Cloak saved him from the worst but he'd still cracked some of his vertebrae. Wong had him immobilized by magic while a healing spell worked it's wonders but it couldn't do anything against the pain. It fell to western medicine to supply relief in the meantime and to Tony to apply it after careful instruction through Christine who checked in every few hours. The medication unfortunately meant that Stephen couldn't escape into his astral form and had to suffer through everything while being imprisoned in this body. It was a waiting game and Tony was determined to sit through it until the end.

"Three years for what?"

Stephen's eyes were open, so he was still awake, but he was staring into some other world were Tony could not follow. _Come back_ , he wanted to beg. _I'm here, I'm waiting for you._

"For me to find some way to get my hands working again." The spell impeded him from raising them. It was pure instinct that made Tony reach for the nearest one and hold it. It was the left, the more painful, almost always bandaged, one. He hoped that Stephen could feel the light touch through the haze of medication but if so he didn't react to it.

"And after that?" Tony didn't want to hear the answer, feared that he already knew it.

Stephen ignored him and continued to stare into eternity. "I should have died in that car. I knew it back then, had no idea what was still waiting for me. I gave myself three years to get back where I was before. If I didn't manage that I promised myself to finish the job that the accident started."

"Stephen, don't," he begged but was ignored.

"I had everything planned out. I had even managed to save enough of my painkillers to finish me off. It was hard, back then I was pretty much addicted to them, but I've always been stubborn." The ghost of a smile. "That's always been my problem."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Today is the tenth anniversary of me finding my way to Kamar-Taj. Two weeks before the deadline was over." Tony swallowed. Two weeks and he would never have met this amazing man. "I've brought the pills with me, of course." Stephen wasn't finished. "I decided to try this mystic magic something and then go quietly in to that good night. The night didn't want me." 

"I'm glad it didn't." Tony didn't know what else to say. He had tears in his eyes and his throat felt constricted as if he was the one being strangled. He looked at Stephen's bruised throat and had to fight back a new wave of tears. _I love you._ He still wasn't strong enough to say the words and hear nothing back.

"I've tried dying after becoming a Master of the Mystic Arts but you know how that worked out. Death still didn't want me. At least not permanently."

 _What the fuck?!_ "Stephen, what's going on? Don't tell me you're dying on me and this is your deathbed confession!"

"No. I just wanted you to know." He finally looked at Tony. "About one of my corpses. After ten years it's about time. And this is the first time in seven years that I can't feel the pain. I'm not allowed to forget about it."

After Stephen lost his fight against the meds and _finally_ fell asleep Tony cried. For Stephen, for himself, for _them_. About how fucking unfair life was.

*

"Don't leave me." This time it was Stephen who had tears in his eyes, begging an unmerciful universe for another, a last chance. Kneeling in the dirt of another world, again, trying to stop Tony from bleeding to death with shaking hands and the last shreds of his magic. "I love you." The admission came easily over his lips, finally. "I have for a long time." 

He didn't get an answer but Tony smiled at him and Stephen could finally see the truth. They'd been in one of those few timelines all along and he'd been too stupid and blind to see it.

There had to be a way. He'd chosen the timeline where Tony lived, after all. Stephen closed his eyes and searched for the last remnants of his power. _I will save you._

* 

Twelve years. They'd selected the date on purpose. The twelfth anniversary of the accident that shattered his hands and almost cost him his life; nine years after the moment he'd planned to die at, Doctor Stephen Strange stood on sheltered terrace of the Sanctum Sanctorum. Behind him the Cloak of Levitation escorted the last of their guests off the premises before it came back to watch over them. Stephen stood behind the man he'd sworn six hours ago to love, honor and protect for the rest of his life and held him in a lose embrace. "I love you." He'd said the words a thousand times in the last year, as if to make up for all the years they'd lost to mutual stubbornness and Stephen's unwillingness to just look at what was right in front of him.

Tony, older, wiser and still so incredible beautiful that it hurt, turned around and rested his head on Stephen's shoulder. "I know." He kissed Stephen, slow and gentle, familiar by now. "I love you, too. Tell me again."

Stephen did.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](https://amethyst-noir.tumblr.com/post/177897846761/not-your-anon-here-but-what-about-something/).


End file.
